Festive confusion swirls at New Labour high command, where Gordon's weekend declaration of support for Mr Tony's tuition fees plan convinces some the gesture can only be the equivalent of a Christmas hamper containing one bulletproof vest and two plaice. Thank heavens, then - and it's hardly the first time we've said this - for Jack Straw. Quizzed in yesterday's Guardian by Jackie Ashley on the principle of tuition fees, the foreign secretary was pleased to give the straightest of answers. "Yes," he said. "I am happy with it." With age, perhaps, comes brevity. In 1988, as a youth of 44, Jack expressed a similar view in an Independent comment piece, but at far more cumbersome length. Headlined "Student loans: a black hole to swallow working class futures", it could be the first draft of Mr T's bill. "I had a grant," declared Jack. "It gave me my future. Why should others now be denied the opportunity...? Student loans will damage the life chances of the bright but poor..." No room for the full rant, sadly, but a reminder of his enduring relevance.

Incidentally, can anyone honestly warm to Gisela Stuart, the Edgbaston MP who stood on a pledge not to introduce top-up fees in 2001, but now maintains her inclusion on a list of rebels was a mistake? Anyone with a compelling reason as to why she should not feature prominently in our Winter Collection is invited to make it known by end of play tomorrow. Readers are reminded that Wednesday is early closing on the Diary.

On Friday we touched on the appearance in the current Spectator, under the byline "Alastair Campbell", of a piece so hilariously, wickedly parodic that it can only indicate the jumping ship (from Private Eye) of our most eminent satirist Craig Brown. We rejoin "Ali" in Addis Ababa, where he has gone to run a race after the ambassador "said I was the third most famous Briton in Ethiopia after the Queen and the PM". "The ambassador will be pleased to know," he writes - oh, the savagery with which that self-regard is caricatured! - "that I have been impressed by progress since my last visit" in the 80s, carrying Robert Maxwell's bags. As for the device of his Q and A session, reported in the Ethiopian media - well, you'll have to judge if Brown goes too far. "This truly is an extraordinary country," notes "Ali". "Journalists reporting what public figures say, without adding their own spin.Unbelievable."Indeed.

Surveillance: Alastair Campbell, at the Almeida with Neil Kinnock, attending Friday's performance of Neil LaBute's new play The Mercy Seat. Our surveyor reports that though Neil mingled merrily with fellow theatregoers, Ali (sporting a grey fleece) hung back sullenly in the doorway to the auditorium, looking at his watch from first bell and tapping his foot impatiently. "Labour's Big Conversation has got off to a flying start," announces a round-robin communique from party HQ. Yes, but has it? Determined that no one should be denied the chance to help Mr Tony have a mass debate, we last week launched the Little Chat, inviting those whose thoughts had bafflingly failed to materialise on the official site to send them in for an airing. Mike Morris is first on. "I emailed mentioning Iraq and dumping the leader for fear of tainting the party," he writes. "Oddly, it has not appeared." It is odd, Mike. Most odd. But keep them coming, and we'll do our best to close the loophole.

A heist at the Stamford Hill synagogue has resulted in the theft of Rabbi Uri Askenasy's briefcase, reports the Jewish Chronicle. We can only guess the reaction of the burglars when they discovered the loot amounted to one full set of mohel's circumcision tools, but the rabbi's clients were "said to be unfazed". Anyone in receipt of an unusual set of kitchenware over the festive season may care to feel less stoic.